Goodbye 2014 Hello 2015!

I know its been awhile since I have blogged and updated, I figured today the last day of 2014 would be a good day to look back and update you all on what has been going on.
As many of you know my last post I shared with you all that our first attempt at IVF was unsuccessful. After our April transfer we jumped back on the IVF train ( well we never really got off) and started up the process to  give it another go! We met with our Dr. and talked about why and what could be causing this not to work, we ran some blood tests and proceeded with a second transfer 6/13/14 this had to be it I thought because June 13th is our wedding anniversary what an amazing gift that would be right!! well we spent our 5th wedding anniversary at the Dr. then on bed rest in the hotel... our two week wait or 9 days seemed to take forever and then it was time to get the blood test. We got the call and again another unsuccessful transfer I was crushed and left questioning why!!! Greg was crushed and we both didn't know how we would move on, the Dr. called and we was upset for us which made me aware that he was just as invested in this as we were. Dr. K is amazing the hugs and personal care he has given to us is beyond words! Dr. K requested that we come down and meet with him to talk about the last cycle and to see what was next for us.
We met with D. K and we discussed the 3 things that could be causing these perfect embryos not to attach, #1 was a genetic issue which we could gladly rule out as we had each embryo tested for genetic issues that would cause them not to implant or miscarriage in the event they did attach. #2 was a blood clotting disorder which again we did tests and that came back fine no blood clot issue here. #3 was a uterus issue humm... could this be it? Well we did another test and ultrasound to find it looked fine however Dr. K said it could be my lining and that there is a pocket of fluid or something that is so tiny we cant see, so he put me on meds for 3 months a drug that would slow my body down instead of speeding it up like we had been doing the goal was to build my lining thick and sticky! After the 3 months of meds I was so thrilled to be done however loved not having a monthly cycle and was ready to move to the next step at my appointment Dr. K started me on my injections and we moved right along. Greg and I made the choice to transfer 2 embryos 1 female and 1 male ( we also did this in transfer 2) our transfer was set for September 17th 2014! This transfer we did things much different, I didn't go crazy doing all the things said to help like drink pomegranate juice, eat pineapple core core 5 days, eat brazil nuts, only have whole milk and so on. This time I put my trust in God that it would work or it wouldn't and either way it was ok because I was strong! Normally after transfer we would stay in a hotel this time we drove the 3 in a half hours home and I was able to relax in my own home! the two week wait or in my case 10 days was fine this time I think that had a lot to do with my mind set going in. about day 7 into our two week wait I had some spotting and I cried because I thought this is it another failed round. That night we went to target and I could hardly go in I was so nauseated I started gaging in the store! I grabbed a test and told Greg I would still not test until Friday day 10! When we were leaving target I told Greg "wow someone just washed their car!" he was like what on earth!!! How would you know that? I could smell the soap from the wash haha. the next morning I woke up and caved I took the test I sat on the toilet and took a deep breath and waited only I didn't have to wait!!!! IT WAS POSITIVE!!! Those two lines showed right away I cried and thanked GOD for allowing me to be pregnant!!
The worst thing was Greg was asleep and I couldn't wake him, I knew that if I did he would not go back to sleep.. So I instead made a sign that said "I AM GOING TO GET FAT! ARE YOU? I put a picture of a baby bottle and said Congratulations Daddy We are PREGNANT!! and then taped the test to the paper! I then taped the sign to the shower door because as soon as Greg wakes up he takes a shower.


I HAD TO WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT WOW THE ONE DAY GREG SLEEPS LATE!


Finally I heard his door open I was laying on my bed with my phone and the dogs as I watched him walk in say hi and then go to the shower he lifted his towel and BAM there was the sign! I swear he starred at  it FOREVER!!! we were both so excited and couldn't believe it! Now was the fun part how to tell everyone!


We planned it all out and told our families all in a different fun way! We facetimed Aunt Cheryl, Uncle Todd and Wyatt (Wyatt said we had to name the baby wyatt also!) We woke John and Susan up at 5:00am with bibs, We surprised Doug while taking a Picture we said on the count of 3 say Dougs going to be a uncle! We called my Dad and Susan, We gave apple seeds to My Mom and dad and rest of the family. And Finally we Announced on Facebook with pictures we took at the Avila barn and beach! Never in my life did I think I was going to be able to do this all and it was finally coming true!


I am currently 17 weeks and 4 days pregnant! We have had a few scared one BIG one the Tuesday before Thanksgiving I spent the day making pie and that night went to deliver them to a friend when I stood up I was gushing blood, One of the scariest moments of my life I thought for sure I was loosing the baby after a trip to the ER and a follow up with the OBGYN all is good and baby and I am fine!


This Christmas we had the Joy of finding out that Baby Blacksill is a GIRL!  Addison Blacksill is due June 5th 2015!!!


I will try to keep you all updated as you all have followed Greg and I during our journey to Baby shoes and that means the world to us to have your love and support!


Happy NEW years!


Love,
The Blacksills!




PICTURES TO COME HAVING A HARD TIME UPLOADING!

Transfer update

Well the time has come where it's time to update you all on everything to this point. We had our transfer 4/10/14 we had to be at the office at 11:15am and as soon as I saw the building I started sobbing I was overcome with emotions from scared to happy and excited and all in between we prayed in the car and then headed in we took a picture in the waiting room as our final moments of a family of two would soon be over and we couldn't be happier. They called us back and it was time to change into my hospital attire and empty my bladder they had me drink just enough water to be able to see everything perfect on ultrasound and then I took my Valium our embryologist came in to tell us our embie who we call snow pea made it and handed us our babies first picture! dr came in and prepared everything and told our embryologist it was go time! He put everything in place and counted to 3 and we saw our snow pea go from the catheter to my womb! I started to sob the moment we worked for was here! I laid there for awhile then they wheeled me to the car and we left to check into our hotel room where I would spend the next few days on bed rest/ limited activity. Greg was amazing taking care of me and even went and got dinner from Cheesecake Factory I stuffed my face I was so hungry when I opened my salad though they gave me BBQ sauce instead of dressing I ate it anyways with the BBQ sauce it was good Greg was weirded out and asked if this was one of many to come in the weird things pregnant women ate! The next 9 days I had to keep busy because my mind was going to go crazy waiting to see if our IVF worked. 

The 9 days flew by I was able to keep busy and if not busy I was so sleepy I just slept. This Saturday our 9 day wait was over we headed to la for blood work to find out if our snow pea made it! It was the longest drive of my life!! We got blood drawn then hung around because we didn't want to be in the mountains when they called. Agonizing over the call we decided to head to lunch at claim jumper, as soon as our food came we got the call..... Our nurse had that tone and my heart sank I tried my best to keep it together at the table as she told me our first IVF attempt was NOT A SUCESS... Needless to say our appetite was gone we got the check and left we hardly made it to the car before I broke down! Y poor husband was angry and sad and so was I, I felt I let him down and again it's my fault we were not pregnant. We are struggling but each day will be better we will pick up the pieces and try again! We are sad our little snow pea didn't make it however we will not give up we will beat this! 

I will leave you with some pictures of the past few weeks. We thank you all for all the love and support! 

           Our last picture of a family of 2

        Our first picture of a family of 3

       Our little snow pea after the transfer! 

     (Yes it's pink because our snow pea is a girl)

         Our little girls first baby picture 

    (We now have an angel watching over us)

Sticky embryos!

Well as promised our last update till after transfer! Hard to believe it's coming soon, just knowing that makes me emotional. My Dr. Appointment went great today the normal blood draw and ultrasound with Mr. Wandy.....Dr. K said my lining looked great both ovaries are resting like we want,he always is so positive I just love it! I of course ask 10 million questions and he always smiles and answers to where I understand what he is saying which is so awesome. My nurse went over medications and instructions and sent me on my way, later this afternoon she called with blood work results and to tell me tomorrow we will add in another injection and everything looks great!!!!!!

We now have the ok to transfer!!! Our sweet embie is going to be thawed and prepared to be put back in this mommies body where he/she belongs!

I can only imagine I will cry as soon as that moment happens as all our hard work and everything to this point will end and another part of this journey will begin, driving home I had to blast some music to keep my mind off it or I would tear up.
Greg and I ask for all the positive thoughts and prayers as we head into transfer and that our sweet embie sticks!!!! I will update when time comes with all the details. Thank you all for all the love and support! Xoxox

Count down time!

Our Dr. Appointment went great Saturday all my blood work came back great and I am to continue the injections twice a week on Monday nights and Friday nights. I will be going back to see Dr. K Friday morning and from there they will do another blood draw and possibly add in our last injections and Lord willing I will be on that injection till I am 10.5 weeks along I never ever though I would be praying to be on injections! We will find out Friday time and date of Transfer and we will be keeping that a secret because from transfer we will have a two week wait to see if our first attempt at IVF worked or not. I will update for the last time this weekend and share as much as I can but then will not have another update until we decide to share our results!


We ask you to keep the positive thoughts and prayers coming our way as we are nervous and excited about what is to come!!!

Proud mommy and daddy!

Update on our little embies! 

So from my last update we had 15 little embies! After all the growing and waiting we had 11 perfect little embies, then we got a surprise phone call from our embryologist that the late bloomers caught up and were at 14 only one didn't make it. They told us how impressed they were with how they were doing and progressing. After their testing and as they prepared for the freeze we got the update we have 11 perfect embies!!! We are over the moon and are so excited! They are now snuggled in tight waiting for mommy and will be transferred sometime in April! 

In the meantime I am currently on injections again however these injections can't be given in the tummy they are in my rear end, I'm so thankful for my friend who is able to give these injections and make them pain free. Also besides injections we have decided to keep mommy stress free and calm. I am currently away from Facebook limiting phone calls and just keeping calm and relaxed! We are doing best we can to make everything go as smoothly as possible and give our sweet embie a chance! 

Back to the dr. Saturday and will update on that once we get back. 

                                             All my new meds and needles

                                              ( more coming on Tuesday)

IVF Explained

I have been getting a lot of questions regarding IVF so I thought I should write a blog on what exactly IVF is.




IVF- In Vitro Fertilization: noun

a specialized technique by which an ovum, especially a human one, is fertilized by sperm outside the body, with the resulting embryo later implanted in the uterus for gestation.

(Dictionary.com)

There 7 steps in IVF I will try to explain to my best knowledge each step so you can all understand.


 #1: Pre- Cycle work up and testing:
This phase is to understand your cycle. Tests to examine your uterus, fallopian tubes, ultrasounds, hormone testing, semen analysis and possible genetic testing. Age and past conditions may lead to more testing.


#2. Preparing for your Cycle:
during this phase some women are put on birth control having a late or delayed cycle can stop a IVF cycle. Birth control is to regulate cycle and hormones. Blood work and ultrasounds to monitor hormone levels and make sure ovaries are responding are a major part of this step in the IVF process.


#3. Stimulation:
once you are prepped and hormones are where they should be clinic will prescribe a series of hormonal treatments, this is to hyper stimulate the ovaries to produce more mature eggs than normal. The more eggs usually means higher chances of success and or additional embryos to freeze. Stimulation medication can be expensive ranging from a few hundred to ten thousand depending on medications and insurance. During this phase you are closely monitored by your Dr. you will have quite a few blood draws and ultrasounds, this is all to make sure you are stimulated just right and trigger at the correct time. Triggering is an injection that tells the eggs to undergo the final stage of maturation before they can be retrieved. Timing is so important if its off eggs may not fertilize correctly.

#4. Egg Retrieval:
After the trigger your ready for retrieval. Egg retrieval is a surgical procedure where your eggs are removed by the Dr. its done by a long needle that reaches the ovaries through the vaginal wall. The needle is attached to a ultrasound probe for guidance. They will flush each mature follicle. The fluid will be examined by a embryologist to see if it contains an egg. This is repeated until each follicle is complete. This procedure is done under anesthesia and last about 20 minutes depending on how many follicles you have.

#5: Fertilization and monitoring:
Once eggs are retrieved they are taken to the IVF lab where they are combined with the Sperm of your partner or donor if need be. There are two ways fertilization takes place one is sperm is carefully washed and prepared then a set amount is combined with eggs in a petri dish and left over night for magic to happen. Second way is ICSI ( intracytoplasmic sperm injection) with ICSI the embryologist will pick out individual sperm and manually inject each egg. After the eggs are fertilized they are referred to as Embryos they are closely monitored and you will receive updates from Dr. or lab. Depending on how many embryos your have they might continue to monitor the embryos to blastocyst stage.

#6.Embryo Transfer:
Once you discuss and decide on how many embryos to transfer the Dr. will carefully transfer selected embryos into uterus with a small catheter. Close attention is placed on putting the embryo in just the right spot to help with a healthy implantation of embryo on the uterine wall. Extra embryos are then frozen for a FET (frozen embryo transfer) which will take place at a later date if wanted. Some Dr. prefer to do a FET rather than a Fresh cycle.

#7. Pregnancy test:
After embryo(s) are placed nothing else to do but wait! Takes time to see if procedure is a success. You will go back to Clinic for a blood test to confirm success or not.

This is an outline of a basic IVF cycle some are different depending on clinic and personal cycle needs.

Hope this helps explaine IVF! 

Retrieval day

                        

Sunday was the big day we had been waiting for, we had been preparing mentally and physically for this day. We made the drive to Thousand Oaks on Saturday so we would have time to relax and didn't have to be up so early and rush the day of. We got to our hotel Saturday and unloaded all the snacks I had purchased for after my procedure all my friends who had been through this said to have high sodium after to help with the bloating, I got pickles (thanks to my mother in law and her knowledge that pickles have tons of sodium), goldfish, granola bars and Gatorade. After resting we headed out for dinner we ended up at outback and had a great dinner discussing our soon to be kids! We headed back to the hotel after dinner and just relaxed I was a bit worried about the time change and missing our appointment or alarm after calling in a wake up call from my father in law I was able to head to bed. Morning came early and I was starving only to remember I couldn't eat or drink till after the retrieval, the hotel smelled like breakfast talk about torture. We arrived to the Dr. Office and my nerves started filled out all the paper work and then it was time they called us back, I got all dressed in my gown, robe, and hair cover. I felt more like a celebrity at a medical spa then at a Dr. Office. My nurse came in and went over everything with us then I was taken to the procedure room, I held back my tears as I left Greg always the worst part for me. The nurse got me in the bed and bundled me up put heating pads on my arms and started to prep me, she got my iv in and gave me something to relax me Dr. K came in and said hi and went to scrub in. Next thing I know I was waking up and we were done seemed so quick Greg was waiting for me in recovery and they told us the wonderful news they were able to retrieve 18 eggs!!! I was in some pain they gave me a shot to help with pain and one I was fully awake they got ready to discharge me. Greg took such great care of me he got me some food and then took me back to the hotel and let me sleep off the meds. I felt pretty good that night so we went to dinner and got some frozen yogurt I think the yogurt was my favorite part. I was in some pain when we got back to the hotel so I called it a night and headed to bed. Monday morning we headed home after breakfast at the hotel. Monday afternoon Dr. K called to let is know 15 of our 18 eggs fertilized I was so excited I am now a proud momma of 15! 

Will update soon as we get more info about our 15 praying they continue to thrive and grow! 

                                         

                                                   All dressed and ready for procedure!

                                 

                                                 All done and waking up!

                          

Almost time......

Its almost time for retrieval! Yup already hard to believe this past 2 weeks have been full of trips back and forth to the RE and injections but we have almost made it to the next huge step. Let me update you on what has been going on this week.


Monday I made the 3 hour drive to Thousand Oaks to see our RE who I love without him I am not sure we would be to this point! I had my blood drawn to monitor estrogen levels and had my date with Mr. Wand (ultrasound machine) Dr. was very happy with results as this far which made me happy! after a great appointment I made my stop for lunch at Taco Bell my favorite place and headed home. I got the call when I got to home that my lab results came back amazing and I would be adding in another injection to my nightly routine. I grabbed all my medicine and headed out the door for Bible study I enjoy my Monday night time with the ladies there and they are so supportive of our IVF journey. So far I have done injections at our friends house while there for dinner and now Bible study oh the stories I will have for my children!
Tuesday and Wednesday I watched my friends kids and had to make the easy decision that I can now only wear yoga pants or stretchy pants the meds make me so bloated that I am worried when I go into public someone might ask me when I am due :/ another lovely side effect. Wednesday my husband even came home with flowers for me!!! For those of you that know us know how big this is I am always giving him a hard time about how I never get flowers.
Thursday I made the 3 hour trip back to the RE to be checked blood work and date with Mr. Wand I decided to give him a name since we have dates so often haha anyway Dr. K was super impressed with me and decided he didn't need to see me until retrieval day Eeeekkk! They gave me all my instructions and sent me on my way.
Friday(Today) I am packing getting ready for my procedure this am I took my last 225iu of Follistim hopefully ever! and tonight I will be taking the last injection of Menopur again hopefully ever! and then triggering ovulation and in 35 hours from then I will be getting set for retrieval!
I  don't know if its the hormones or what but as I type this I am crying, I am crying because we have come so far and being done with injections means we are closer to our goal of our babyshoes!!! I am truly so thankful for all the love and support we get from each and everyone of you without you all I am not sure I could do all this!
I will update as soon as I can on how retrieval goes and how many eggs we are able to get!


I will leave you with some picutres from this week....

Flowers from my hubby! 

My fastly filling sharps container

Progress of my follicles 
My super bloated belly and giving myself and injection!

"Shot,shots,shots....everybody"

Lol every time I hear that song now it has new meaning for me. I am currently day 4 of the follistim and Menopur shots all is going well I am now after 3 years able to do my own injections proud moment for me!!! We went to the dr yesterday (Friday) and all is going as planned which is great news!!!! He gave us the weekend off from traveling the 3 hours and some change down to see him. Today since we were given the weekend off we ran some errands and purchased our birthday/anniversary gifts to each other two rocker recliners that will match our couch Greg says they will be perfect for rocking our amazing IVF baby/babies! Tonight we are watching movies and relaxing tomorrow same thing before traveling back to dr. Monday and back Monday night for my bible study! Have a great weekend everyone I'm headed back to be lazy and watch some movies with my hubby and furry kids. First I will leave you with some pics from this week.

Friday on our way to doctor we had bad weather lots of accidents.

Nightly cocktail of Menopur 

IVF #1 kicks off

Today I had my ultrasound to kick off our IVF! Eeeek it's so real now.... We got the all clear ultrasound showed everything was looking perfect. I start follistim tomorrow morning and menopor (spelling might be wrong) in the evening we will go back Friday to check progress and again possibly Sunday! Estimated retrieval is the 8th or 9th of March! Yay let's pray this gets up those baby shoes!! 

     

A Bump in the road

I first have to start by saying how thankful I am to be in such an amazing Doctors care. As I type this update we are about 20 days from starting IVF so exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time. Today our Fertility specialist called with results and information for us, all my testing has come back and there was one result he is concerned with but nothing that will cancel our IVF or stop us from becoming parents. We will be delayed in our transfer as we need to go over some items with our dr. better safe than sorry. I am so thankful for the amazing care we are receiving. I feel now knowing what we do that all our failed attempts were for a good reason. Nature said No and science is saying YES! I was reminded today about a story that went around on social media it was about a person complaining to God why did you let me sleep in? and other whys? God answered and said I let you sleep in because if you would have been on time you would have been in a bad car accident. point being I feel all our failed attempts were to put us where we are now and I am so grateful!

20 days till IVF begins!!! I will keep you all updated cant wait!

xoxo
BabyBlues2BabyShoes

Please continue to send positive thoughts and prayers they are greatly appreciated!

Medicine is here and we start our countdown!

Its beginning to become real!!! Medications arrived and let me tell you there were a ton of needles, and from someone who used to be scared of needles it was a tad bit much. I unloaded the box and then a new emotion set in I went from being scared of the needles to thankful and excited, these medications are going to help Greg and I achieve our goal to be parents!! We now are in count down mode we have not even a month till we begin IVF and I can't even begin to tell you how excited we are to get started!

COUNTDOWN GOALS!

Since we have about a month little less we have decided to relax and enjoy, NO STRESS going into IVF! We spent this weekend doing just that. Friday we went to hobby lobby and got some Project life items to start our album for IVF. For those of you who do not know what project life is its a scrapbook type photo album that is done weekly, we thought this would be perfect to look back on and show our little ones. Can't wait to get started on that as well! Saturday we went and got my computer all fixed up and working again (thats why I am back blogging) and had dinner and fun with some of our friends. Sunday we spent the day relaxing and watching the big superbowl game. Nothing super special but all relaxing and no stress!

I will try my best to update and keep you all posted on our countdown activities and any other important things!


Until then thank you all for your love and support!
XOXO BabyBlues2BabyShoes

Update and New Beginings for 2014!

Hello all so sorry I am such a bad blogger I always plan to update then other things happen and I forget! I promise 2014 will be different!


Anyways let me update you on the journey we have traveled this far. After a BFN (Big Fat Negative) from our 2nd IUI we went on to do a 3rd IUI Dr. said everything looked amazing. Greg and I had talked before hand and agreed that if this 3rd IUI did not work we were going to move on to IVF however we remained positive our 3rd iui would be it! As we started our TWW we both acted as if the IUI had worked and remained super positive. Our Two week wait ended December 27th with a BFN and dang AF came the following day. I had to call the Dr. and fill them in on the negative test and that AF has showed they didn't seem to care and when I asked to talk to someone about IVF they informed me that the next one would be in March, this meaning that they would be strictly working off their schedule and not my cycle I did not get a good feeling from them about the IVF. After talking to Greg about it we agreed to seek a second opinion.


After talking to friends who are currently seeking infertility treatments and those that have been though this before we settled on a Dr. in Thousand Oaks California. I have learned so much through this journey this time I was not going in not knowing anything or unprepared I had 3 pages of question and notes and also had looked up his success rates and other important information, I was able to get us an appointment early in January which was amazing I was informed that our consult appointment would last at least an hour and a half with the dr. getting to know him and going over all options and medical history I was already blown away as our last dr. we saw I think 3 times or so in 3 years. We arrived to our apt with nerves and excitement we were welcomed Dr. Kumar and taken to his office to go over everything. Our appointment was at 11:00 and we left about 2:00pm all our questions were gone over he has power points to show each step in the process went over my medical history and preformed a ultrasound to check on me himself and lastly Greg and I both had blood taken for labs. By the next day I had a phone call from the nurse telling me I was not immune to MMR ( measles, mumps and rubella) and that I would need a booster before proceeding with treatments. Easier said then done getting the MMR was no easy task but I in the end I got the shot and in 30 days we are able to proceed with IVF!


We had a nurse appointment this last week which went over cost and what insurance cover, meds, schedule and all that fun stuff as it looks now we will be starting IVF end of February retrieval will be in march and then transfer will be in April! I plan to keep you all updated on each step as we go.


Current status is we are waiting on AF and then from then we have 1 month till we start our protocol for IVF! next month we plan to take a mini trip before all the dr. appointments and other things begin!    


Thank you so much for all the love and support!


BabyBlues2BabyShoes!